The Feed

While I like to pretend I’m not a hoarder … I have tendencies … I hoard vacation - I mean I use it - but not haphazardly. Our cottage rental runs Monday to Monday. I come home Sunday night so I can work on Monday’s - this way I’m taking 5 days off and not 6. Taking the extra Monday feels like a throw away - hence the hoarding reference. This year though … I booked the extra day, I took the Monday off. My parents were here the week leading up to the cottage, the funeral, a

I spent a week with friends at a cottage. A group of us have been doing this for a few years now. One of the things I love about going is how much reading I do. This trip I was in and on the water everyday and still managed to read four books. I love books with characters that the author spends time developing … characters you - as the reader - engage with, cheer for, cry with … I especially love when those characters evolve over the course of the book … It’s easier to conne

A few weeks ago I felt like I’d stepped onto a new path … no idea where it was leading but fear hadn’t arrived yet - trust had. I’ve been finding breadcrumbs - evidence since then … someone told me that grief strips away the noise … I think that’s true … It makes seeing things easier because the excess falls away. Reciprocity keeps coming up … as evidence, in conversation … not in a transactional sense but in how energy moves through us … in the relationship we have with ou

I’m a morning person - I have been as long as I can remember … I’m also that kid who needs sleep or has trouble functioning (read I’m emotional, I have trouble managing my filters etc. etc.). So late nights have always taken more out of me. I also like routines in the morning - so does my papa … The more time I spend with him the more I’m reminded that he’s a creature of habit and doesn’t like his routines disrupted … It's like having an early warning system for my future sel

A few weeks ago I mentioned I was using ChatGPT to help me modify my routines, create more consistency while also balancing my need to get everything done with a sense of calm, a sense of intention. That has turned into something bigger … something almost unrelated - almost! In doing several stream-of-conscious mind dumps - with the hope that ChatGPT would pick up on the patterns … I moved to a “here are all the things I want to achieve” - is there a single tool or applicatio

I am a fan of movies with superheroes, underdogs … I love a good Marvel movie. Rocky is my ultimate guilty pleasure … I like watching people overcome … Real or fiction - it doesn’t matter … Stories where someone is fighting for the life they want, where they get up again and again - even in the moments when it’s hard, when it hurts, when everything inside you is screaming at you to stop … Watching those moments - I feel those moments, my whole body feels those moments. I know

I was in a weird headspace a few days ago … I sat down with my laptop and began a conversation with ChatGPT. It started with my asking for a modification to my strength routine, which included some parameters and considerations (e.g., my current program, areas of focus etc.). Then I decided to ask for a modification to my morning routine based on how I have been feeling and what I want from my mornings. I then threw my budget (at a very high-level) at it and looked for recom

I’m a fan of warm weather - of summer in general. Last year and this year the humidity levels have pushed temperatures into highs I’m not used to and for periods of time I don’t love. The heat is almost unbearable and typically comes with dramatic pressure changes which can push me into headache and/or migraine territory. Which I really don’t love. This year the heat has come with air quality advisories - which makes everything heavier. It also means being outside is harder

My sister, cousin and I have just finished cleaning out my aunt’s apartment. While she only had a two bedroom apartment - she was of a generation that threw very little to nothing away … as such … there was a collection of not just her life, but the lives of people who had gone before her. Most of these things were in boxes … Neatly packed away and likely forgotten, pictures I know she didn’t look at because of what it took to access them … Emails, books, clothes …She also h

I lost my aunt last week. Despite her being 92 - the loss was unexpected. That’s the funny thing about death … even when you know someone is near the end of life, when it does end - it feels unexpected. Maybe that’s just me? Although … with this … I don’t think it is. I’m not sure if it's the finality of death … or how our brains process presence. Whatever the reason … even at 92 … my heart is broken. I won’t get into the debate about quality of life, if death is the end e

I’ve been thinking a lot about our response to challenging situations, moments, environments etc. Don’t ask me why … Just one of those random thought patterns that appeared in my brain. Some people seem predisposed to adaptation … They seem to rise to the challenge(s) presented … They appear to navigate with an ease, a confidence, a sense of purpose. Some even radiate a sense of calm … control … They are focussed, decisive and action oriented. Others are like deer caught in

Patience is an effort - punchy is easy. Is this true for anyone else? At work I have so many things on the go … I’m bouncing from fire to fire to fire … I feel like I don’t have time to think … I react … I’m reactive and not proactive. It's exhausting. I feel overwhelmed. I don’t like this state of being. I’m usually good at navigating chaos … Seeing what I need, asking the questions that help me prioritize, help me problem solve … I’m unsure if AI is compounding this probl

Like most of the world - I am right handed. I am also right dominant … I hit harder with my forehand, paddle harder on the right and I feel all the tension, soreness and weight on the right side of my body. My left side is strong - I work both sides consistently but when things are hard or I have to dig - the right side takes the brunt. In fairness … When I’ve gone for a massage - I’ve been told my left side is tighter - which means my right side just communicates louder! My

Someone I love recently annoyed me. They thoroughly pissed me off actually. I was angry at them and then angry at myself for being angry at them. That’s the worst kind of anger. They behaved as they always did … I was angry because it wasn’t what I needed. The gap … well … the gap between who I need and who they are … that’s where disappointment, frustration and anger form. I needed help and they couldn’t or wouldn’t offer it. Well - that’s my point of view. It’s possible

Is everyone else’s calendar a mess these days? I go between periods of insanely busy to periods of not being busy enough. The swing isn’t ideal … at first the non busy days feel nice … I can catch my breath, I can relax, I can get caught up. The problem? I don’t get caught up - I procrastinate, or … I create projects - I go all in - so I can’t quit part way through (read: painting the hallway, deep cleaning my space etc.). I’m in a busy period now. Productive busy - I’m good