Musical Interlude

I’m in one of those moods this morning … dancing in the car, dancing while washing dishes … I want to move, I want to sing, I want to dance. 

Today it is one song … no particular reason … The music just makes me smile … makes me want to move. Some songs I’m hooked after hearing the first three to five notes. The song might be terrible - in which case I try to track down the instrumental version … and sometimes the song is just … magic - I love it when that happens.

Turning up the speakers, slipping on the headphones … moving to the music … it shuts out the noise - in my head mostly. It lets me think. It elevates my mood. As the influencers would say - it keeps me in flow - keeps my energy vibing on a higher level. In those moments I feel unstoppable, like anything and everything is possible. 

This energy level reset - full transparency - is a swift kick in the a$$. I forget where I am, what I’ve achieved. I get hyper focussed on where I’m going when I’m over thinking, feeling stuck or paused - I get in my head, I forget to breathe, I feel behind, I get hyper critical … I could go on, but I think you get the gist. 

I forget that I’ve got a good job, a home I love, a solid group of friends and family, and I'm healthy. I forget what I have. I’m not behind where I’m meant to be - I am exactly where I should be. I am never moving fast enough in my head - never! Yet, I am. I’m moving just fast enough. 

That’s a hard one for me - the pace. It’s not that I’m not willing to work for things or expect to be handed things - I’m not. I do work for/at the life I’ve built. Every decision, every action, every failure, every win, every heartbreak, every moment of utter joy, and every lesson … I worked for - at - I earned. 

Pushing forward, pursuing my next challenge or goal … I lose sight of that, lose the forest for the trees as it were. 

While driven and pursuing new goals - that pace, while it ebbs and flows, will never be fast enough. That doesn’t mean I can’t also enjoy where I am. Balance. While I’m better at it, I’m not good at it. Yet, I’ve come to realize that balance across the board doesn’t suit me - it doesn’t fit. It matters in my relationship with food, my sleep and my morning routines, keeping my nervous system regulated to help prevent migraines and to support my overall health. As it relates to my pursuit of my goals, my dreams … not having balance is not something I’m beating myself up over anymore. I’m allowed to be driven, to be passionate about the life I want and my pursuit of it. I’m allowed to be relentless. 

Balance - hysterically - was one of those things I was trying to implement with my “all or nothing” mentality. Somehow I have managed to find a balance with balance.  

It’s funny how a song can influence my emotional state, open up my consciousness, highlight where I’m in my own way. The song itself isn’t the trigger, it’s usually the melody underneath, it’s what hooks me, what turns on the light inside. It’s what pulls me into flow. It always amazes me how open I become once I’m vibing at a higher level. Problems feel less problematic. I think more creatively. Routines or the mundane don’t feel quite so heavy. Music becomes the rose coloured glasses to life. Maybe? 

Even when it moves into the background - when I’m in meetings or taking calls or am heads down at work … it’s somehow still running  through my system - acting like a shield for anything or anyone trying to drain my energy, trying to take, to leave me empty.

As a solar powered entity, I’m realizing I’m equally as impacted by music as I am by the sun. While scientifically the data set supporting my hypothesis is weak, I feel it, and sometimes feeling it is all the evidence you need. 

Why am I overanalyzing my brains shift to higher vibrations or the feeling of being in flow? Ha! Because it’s what I do. 

It is a fair question … It's the same rationale I use for migraines. If I understand what causes it, how I got there … I can replicate the good stuff and prevent the bad. Knowledge matters to me. I get curious, I like knowing how my brain works, how I work. It’s me doing me as it were.  

I’ve started and stopped writing over the course of the day. When I started I just started. I had an idea but didn’t have the full picture for what this post would be - how it would take shape or where it would go. I have these moments where ideas appear in my brain and I know they are right … These aren’t ideas related to other people, or me spouting ideas as fact … When this happens it is always related to me. What changes I need to make, action I need to take related to something in my life, an answer to a question I’ve been trying to solve … the idea just appears, always in a moment of calm.  I’m not talking reckless decision making or emotional responses that would not hold up in the light of day. 

How this article would take shape - I didn’t know, I just knew it would find its way. It was also a bit of a test, as the day progressed, as things happened that were frustrating or not what I envisioned or wanted … Would they derail my mood, my flow? Could the music that elevated me in the morning, carry me through the day? 

I realize the answer will not always be yes, it will or it can. Today it did. It was everything I didn’t know I needed.

On a day that is cold, damp and grey … My musical interlude has been the little bit of sun, the solar energy I needed today. It’s been exactly the thing I needed to lighten the mental load and open me up to possibility … to possibilities. 

That’s worth dancing over.