Soundtracks

The link between music and memory never ceases to amaze me. There are songs that instantly put me in a good mood and others - I can’t change the channel fast enough. 

I love music … I have music playing in the background all the time.  I used to listen to music when I studied … I still listen when I need to focus at work, when I’m driving, working out, cleaning - it doesn’t matter what I’m doing … I prefer to have music in the background. 

I have different preferences depending on what I’m doing … I listened to classical or instrumental when I studied as a student.  I still lean into that genre when I’m focussing on a particular problem or deliverable at work. The music keeps me focussed without the distraction of lyrics. It’s funny - I used to create songs to help me remember details like dates, places, names.  For some reason these don’t stick in my brain.  I can remember faces, details about the wheres and when but names … my brain loses that detail.  This made courses like history or geography or psychology problematic … Those courses love their names. 

I gravitate to certain songs or genres depending on what is going on in my life.  It’s like I need them … I can listen to them repeatedly and not get tired of them. Then … when they’ve served their purpose - I can let them go.  It’s not that I suddenly dislike them, it’s more, I hear them and am reminded of a feeling or event that drove the need for them.  Sometimes I can hear those songs and feel grateful the song supported me and sometimes I fast forward to the next one.  There is no consistency … it really is just dependent on my mood, destination, what I’m doing etc. 

Some songs - the ones I associate with periods in my bebe’s lives … ah … those ones always make me smile … Those songs are magic.  They can transport me back in time … I can see the kiddoes dancing, hear them singing, feel their joy … They make me smile - everytime! I don’t know if the kiddoes remember those songs … so it’s like a shared secret between me and the artist … etched in perfect detail in my mind.  I don’t have songs for every one of my bebe’s … but some … I think it’s one of those things … not everyone feels music the same, the kiddoes that do … Songs stood out in memory - attached to moments.  It’s like an unspoken understanding … an unspoken appreciation for what music means as a soundtrack in our lives. 

The same is true of my friends.  Certain songs transport me to certain places, moments … while others - I don’t associate with any particular song. 

I sometimes wonder if it's less about them and more about me. The feelings I had in those moments I remember? There may be something to that … But then someone will associate the same song to the same moment and I think maybe it’s bigger than just me.  

In truth - I like that thought.  It's somehow reassuring.  The idea or knowledge that art or music can connect us.  There is something hopeful about that. 

Some songs … transcend memory … they are simply emotion. 

I couldn’t tell you why one song always makes me want to cry while others instantly make me feel happy or uplifted. I just know they do. These are the songs I don’t get tired of hearing, of singing … If they happen to come on the radio, you turn the dial WAY up! These songs … These are the songs you collect over the course of a life … They are often as eclectic, as unique as the individual collecting them. They reflect a lifetime of moments … emotion.

These songs are scattered throughout my playlists - often on more than one … My car playlists, workout playlist, random house lists … some even hit varied event playlists … they cross populate because I want to hear them - when I hit a wall in a workout and I need that push, when I need that boost of energy during the day, when I am on a roadtrip and want to be pumped and enjoy the open road, the sunshine, the journey … These are the songs I want in those moments. 

I am one of those people who probably shouldn’t sing at the top of my lungs but I’m the person that will … Without worrying about where I am or who can hear me.  

While music is intensely personal, there is something special about experiencing it live. There is an energy that hits different then when you experience live sporting events … the emotional response always feels positive but what makes it feel special … Everyone is experiencing the music, each song, in their own individual way … But they are doing that in a shared space, a shared moment.  To me, that is the magic in music - in art in general. Everyone responds differently. Music is one of those genres that a vast number of people can experience simultaneously and differently all at once. 

While I - as a general rule - prefer to be out of the spotlight, experiencing what musicians must experience on stage, while performing their music, their craft, with a live audience … to experience that collective response … that would be an amazing experience, an unbelievable feeling. 

I think there is a certain bravery in putting yourself out there … Writing lyrics, putting that to music, performing it in front of others … there is a vulnerability that you expose in doing that … which makes the emotional response of those listening, that connection, that resonance that much more satisfying - more rewarding.  

I love a good soundtrack … especially the ones I have scoring the moments in my movie - my life … the collection of songs I’m in the process of accumulating as I move through this journey called life … I couldn’t imagine navigating the way without music … I think everyone should have a soundtrack ... one that reflects their individual journey and every mountain top and valley they experience along the way. One that says this was my life ... messy, imperfect and utterly epic ...