Landing

While I like to pretend I’m not a hoarder … I have tendencies … 

I hoard vacation - I mean I use it - but not haphazardly.

Our cottage rental runs Monday to Monday. I come home Sunday night so I can work on Monday’s - this way I’m taking 5 days off and not 6.  Taking the extra Monday feels like a throw away - hence the hoarding reference. 

This year though … I booked the extra day, I took the Monday off.  My parents were here the week leading up to the cottage, the funeral, airport runs, the preparation for the funeral, the details that go into managing the aftermath of death …

The week away was exactly what I needed and when … booking that day … giving myself permission to land … I needed that too. 

Instead of racing through my Sunday night / Monday pre-work morning doing laundry, getting groceries, playing catch up on emails, jumping into meetings and onto calls, I gave myself permission to ease back into my routines. Laundry and groceries, obviously, I need clean clothes and food.  But it wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t urgent.  It also gave me space - to be with myself, by myself. Space to read, enjoy the quiet, water my plants … no agenda, no urgency, no one needing me to do anything, to be anything, to solve anything. No explosive fire coming off the heels of water … 

I’ve never done this before … I always jump right back into work. A hard landing as it were. 

Truthfully - I didn’t even know this was a term.  I heard it and then had to google it … it’s a whole thing!

Given the events of my summer - landing, softly, felt right, felt necessary. 

Would I do it every time? No. Not because there was no value … I just won’t always need it. There won’t always be value. Sometimes I want to take a day, just for me, sometimes I will want a  day just with friends … but those random days off scattered throughout the year, they also do wonders for my sanity. 

Do I want an environment where I take the time when I need it and don’t need to count the days? 

Obviously. 

Am I working towards that?

Yes. 

It’s a work in progress. 

In the meantime - I will continue to be intentional about how I use my time-off - when possible. Not that I needed to know something was a thing in order to do it … but I will use landings when and where it makes sense to use them. 

I will say, building a buffer into my morning and leveraging AI to help me prioritize the volume of emails, messages and asks that arrived while I was away helped tremendously. Even after having that bridge - I couldn’t have hit the ground running on Tuesday. It’s Friday and while it’s been a productive week, I’m not running at full capacity.  I’m still tired and my brain is taking longer than usual to function. Given the volume of things this week brought - the fact that my brain managed everything it did, feels like a win. 

Work didn’t really slow down and yet is ramping up … Which is both good and bad. Sometimes breathing room leaves room for creative problem-solving, which we will need as we move into the final quarter of the year. Sometimes the pace that’s coming is the pace I work best in. There isn’t room to overthink, to worry … there is only room for certainty, decisive action, for trusting the outcomes will work out the way they should … for troubleshooting the problem in front of you while simultaneously considering future dominoes and then making a decision and moving forward. I know this pace. This pace and I compliment each other.  This pace is new to most of my team … So, the adventure awaits. 

The social calendar for September is full and getting fuller … But that’s ok too. The transition into fall is always busy and I prefer it that way. It makes having used Monday to land that much wiser of a choice. 

It helped protect the week I took … The time I used, I needed to disconnect … Protecting that reset was important.  I think time off in general is important, while I understand not everyone agrees, I’m that kid from the scientific studies that explain the benefits of taking time off (not literally - figuratively). That might be why I hoard my vacation. I like to use it to go places, to reset. I don’t leave vacation time on the table - in my mind that’s the equivalent of leaving money on the table and I can’t carry over time. 

I’m careful with the how I use it - too careful … not everyday off needs to be doing something or going somewhere … not every vacation needs to be an exotic destination … don’t get me wrong … I love to travel … adore it … but sometimes a day, shopping with friends, doing things for just me are equally as beneficial, equally as meaningful. 

Landing this week was the bridge I needed between water and fire … it was ground … While water restores and fire moves me, ground steadies me … 

Ground was what was calling … My body heard it before my brain did … it got there, it’s getting better at listening, at understanding, at giving me what I need in healthier ways, in loving ways …