Play

As I was heading to volunteering last week, things I considered “play” as a child flooded my memory.  

Some of it was traditional - tag, swimming, skipping, sports, card and board games … some I don’t see much anymore … Maybe I did and I’ve forgotten as the bebe’s in my life are in the double digits now.

Things like school - with friends, with dolls or stuffies … house, where you -  the child - take on the role of a parent.

I also built and created things - not just with lego, blocks or crayons and paint - think song and dance productions and full on business models.  All in the course of an afternoon … usually with my cousins at a family function.  

One of my cousins had the most amazing Barbie collection - all the clothes, the beautiful clothes! One afternoon, instead of playing Barbie in a traditional way, we built a fashion house, complete with business cards, runway shows and an invite only model.  We were creating exclusivity models before we knew what that even meant.  

The same is true of our song and dance productions - that we invited our parents, our cousins, my grandmother to watch … which I’m sure they didn’t love - but they came, they watched, they applauded.  

The point being, play and creativity, play and showmanship used to be a norm. A way of thinking and being. I wasn't afraid to take risks or put myself out there … admittedly the stakes were low.  

While I still love fashion, music and theatre … I’m not interested in being a designer, an actor or a singer.  Or at least not professionally. 

I hope I’ll always want to sing in the car, the kitchen, with my bebes’ … I’ll always have an interest in fashion … They are expressions of who I am.  A type of art form … Not something I want to build a business off of. 

I think the point of the memories was a reminder - to play more … Adulting doesn’t have to always be serious, or scheduled.  I’m allowed to be silly, to have fun, to let my inner child loose throughout the day. 

That child - she was smart, imaginative, bold, she was also silly and curious … I need more of her. 

I like the idea that work and play can intersect. Maybe not all day every day … but there should be glimpses of that intersection daily.  I believe that. 

If I look back over all my jobs - not just throughout my career but every job I’ve ever had … I’ve had that.  Not because I was doing something I was always passionate about or loved - some of my part-time jobs were terrible … but there were things about them … My mind could wander, create … I walked away at the end of the day and focussed on living my life … I built something that mattered … I helped someone else move towards something they wanted … Even now, the highlights are about the impact I’ve had or made on others.  Those moments make the harder moments worth it. 

There is a part of me that still wants to build … always leaning into helping others. Always thinking about the ripples. 

Sometimes I think our love languages aren’t just how we show up for others or need people to show up for us … They are also what we look for or need from our day to day - how we find meaning in what we do. 

Play is sometimes the unfiltered expression of all the things we can’t say, or don’t know we think, or want or need. Sometimes it’s just play - a creative expression that means nothing more. I think the thing I miss is the freedom in it … the feeling at the top of the swing, jumping off a cliff into water, dancing and singing in front of others, building a business … I don’t remember ever being afraid in those moments, those games … that voice wasn’t there - telling me all the reasons I shouldn’t, I couldn’t … I miss that freedom.  Everything is possible. Everything is doable. Everything you can walk away from. Everything can be rebuilt.  

Delusional faith. 

The little girl who believed, who felt those moments, who was imaginative … she’s still there … the echoes of her still whisper … still sing … My imagination is still intact.  I need to lean into building again. I need to narrow my focus.  The answers will come … likely in ways I don’t expect. 

I have all these ideas in my head - they make me happy, bring me joy, I can’t even imagine what realizing them would feel like.  Turning them into something tangible. 

That’s the thing about play - no overthinking, just messy action … it may not always go the way you imagine or the way you want, but it's fun.  I’m totally game for that!  

It feels like a metaphor for life, that children somehow just know and if we are lucky we either remember or are reminded of along the way.

So, this is my reminder to enjoy the process, remain flexible, be ok with uncertainty and have fun. 

This is my reminder to find excuses to play.