the Fall

A couple of years ago, I slipped, fell on my butt … got up, got into the water … thought nothing of it.  Over the course of the summer I started losing strength in my right leg, and noticed pinching when I walked … 

Saw a doctor, chiropractor, osteopath, massage therapist, and acupuncturist.  Insert temporary relief … insert return of the problem. 

My sister slipped and fell on her back deck, similar symptoms, similar course of action, similar results. 

Fast forward to earlier this year.  My sister found a physiotherapist who diagnosed her, gave her a plan and helped her correct the problem.  

Needless to say, I got her contact details and saw her for the first time at the start of the week. 

There is a kind of relief in knowing what the cause of pain, discomfort etc. is … it’s the starting point to correct it.  

Side note: my sister and I don’t have the same diagnosis.  She did think it interesting that we experienced similar symptoms as a result of a fall and strength was the first to go … genetics is so weird.  What’s weirder, my sister and I aren’t ever mistaken for siblings … we are rarely mistaken as related.  So to have the same physical symptoms as a result is definitely odd. 

But I digress.

If we didn’t, I might not have found this woman and be in more pain as a result of treatment.  

I say that semi tongue in cheek.  

Semi.  

I had to back off the strength and focus on stretch … I had a series of stretches I needed to do twice a day … the recommendation that I take advil twice a day for a few days should have tipped me off, yet, maybe it’s better it didn’t.  

I was tender the day after treatment … I felt bruised - the only way to describe it.  I’ve been doing the work, because I want to be better.  As the week progressed, the feeling of being bruised left but it was replaced with an ache all through the joint.  

“You’ll essentially be tearing the scar tissue …” should have been a tip off and yet … 

Sighs. 

Healing really isn’t linear. You do all the things you’re supposed to do to get better and you feel worse.  I know the step back is necessary to step forward.  It just feels wildly uncomfortable and a little slow moving. 

The “this will take time” narrative feels like it’s happening across all areas of my life at the moment and patience and I are such good bedfellows … 

Sighs. 

I know consistency is key, sounds boring, but it’s where progress lives.  It’s where habits are born.  It’s where change happens.  

This will be a step forward, a step back, two steps forward … the gains will come.  

Patience feels like the universal theme in all my lessons over the last few years.  

Laughs.

Sometimes I just refuse to learn.  

I go back for my second appointment tomorrow.  I fully expect I’ll leave feeling bruised but in a state of healing.  I’ll take healing.  

Healing is progress … even if it hurts like hell. 

A few lifetimes ago.  I felt like I was at the bottom, looking up at where I’d fallen from, thinking it was a long road back … then an interesting thing happened … I looked around at where I’d landed and realized I didn’t need to go back  … that’s when I found a door, took a different path. 

Sometimes we just need to be reminded … There are detours along the way, things we didn’t know we needed - I don’t know that I needed to fall but I know the lessons I’m getting from it are good ones, and are good reminders.  

Sometimes a fall is just a fall … sometimes a fall is a push to something better … this feels like the latter … like the next few weeks, few months are changing everything … 

Feels like an interesting summer.