Social Butterfly

There is something about this time of year … 

My calendar always blows up and finding any downtime becomes a luxury.  

Part of it is events, outings, holidays … Part of it is birthdays - which in my world seem to cluster at the back half of the year.  Some of it is shopping, decorating, baking - so all self-induced stressors that go with this time of year. 

Don’t misunderstand, I love Christmas decorations, baking and spoiling the kiddoes in my life!

LOVE!

I also love celebrating birthdays!

So, wins all around. 

There is something about the weather getting colder that makes one want to spend more time with people that matter. 

Maybe that’s just me?

As much as I love being out and about and doing things with friends and family - I need down time.  I like time with just me to recharge and let go of everyone else’s energy.  As much as I love being social - it takes a lot of my energy.  If I don’t prioritize and schedule downtime I become exhausted faster - basically, I get really really grumpy.  

That’s not a reflection of the people I’m with - it just takes a lot of energy for me to be on, to be social, to be engaged.  I’m an extroverted introvert.  I get energy from people but I need the quiet to recharge.

It’s a thing. 

As busy creeps in, it becomes easier to opt out of habits I’ve worked to establish over the course of the year … movement, eating well, gratitude … I’d say reading but I’m on and off with that one … I miss it when I don’t but sometimes it’s too much. 

I’m not a cold kid … I don’t mind being outdoors when it’s cold - when I’m dressed appropriately, doing something I like … moving from warm to cold is wildly uncomfortable … Choosing sleep always feels better … so maintaining habits when I’m tired (read not tired because I’m fighting something e.g., a cold or the flu but tired because I’m busy) isn’t me helping me. So - keeping up my self-care … movement, eating well, gratitude and reading (dare to dream) are non-negotiable.  They support my energy, my mobility, my mental and emotional wellbeing and my physical health … No one wants to be run down through the holidays - that’s unfun!

As the weather gets colder I find I’m tired more … Like I could be a species of animal who hibernates.  I go to bed around the same time, but waking up is infinitely harder.  I know I’m not the only one who feels this.  

I think this is why I keep a busier schedule in the winter.  It forces me out - out of my space, outside, socializing with others … Not that I don’t get up and get dressed for work, I do, but there is something different when you are getting up and going out and getting dressed knowing you are socializing with others.  It’s not that the clothes are different, or the details … I think it’s the energy.  Not that I don’t like dressing for myself … it’s somehow different.  Like somehow going out - while it uses a lot of energy it also somehow leaves me with more than I started with.

It’s hard to explain.  Clearly. 

My ability to explain the rationale aside - I increase my outings … I consciously populate my schedule with time outside my home.  

As a protective measure, I have told a friend, if I start saying ‘no’ too often - intervene.  It means I’m entering ‘hermit’ mode and while I might think it’s what I need … In the long term - it’s not healthy for me. 

At.  All.  

I realize I probably sound certifiable.  I’m not.  Well - that is to say, I think I’m self-aware.  

I like patterns … my mind looks for them.  They fascinate me.  Certain patterns, I’m keeping, nurturing even.  Others need to be bypassed, routed in new directions.  I feel like (read hope) I’m more aware of my patterns and making conscious choices about the direction mine are taking me … the habits and narratives they are creating and reinforcing. 

I’m not road-running for the sake of road-running.

I’m not socializing for the sake of socializing.  

Connection is healthy - for me.  The balance between my inner hermit and social butterfly is delicate - it does exist!  As always, my challenge is in keeping my balance.