Progress

I’m three physio sessions in and I feel like I’m falling apart.  My knee hurts, my right trap is so tight it’s borderline painful, my ankles feel weak … 

Spoiler: I’m still doing the stretches.  

Luke Belmar reels periodically hit my “for me” page … one came up this week that resonated … “The path to growth never feels easy in the beginning.  Progress doesn’t happen without struggle.”  

I’ve seen the reel before - but this week - I felt that quote; deeply. 

Regaining mobility and strength, I’m going to feel stiff, weak, my range of motion is going to suck - consistency and time will get me the strength I’m looking for, the range of motion I need. 

Before you make progress you are faced with humility, reminded you don’t know everything, can’t do everything.  While you don’t always need to be undone, you need to know where you are - be open to learning and not being great, or even good at the start of the journey.  

Someone at work recently said they consider themselves top talent … They are consistently looking at how to be better in their field.  Which, I get. While I’m all for confidence, the statement sounded like hubris.  They want to move up into Executive positions but don’t want to learn about business, leadership, or acquire knowledge outside of their field of expertise, which, in my mind would make them more well rounded, more valuable.  They don’t see how a different vantage point makes them better positioned to lead, to influence sustainable change, to grow personally and professionally.  They aren’t alone.  Too often I see ego at the table, where it doesn’t belong.  

I’ve been guilty of leading from a selfish place, being more concerned about my pride or being right that I miss the bigger picture.  Not some of my better moments, or my best decisions or strongest performances came from that place.  

To clarify, it’s not that you forget yourself, or you sacrifice yourself … The business itself is an entity and ultimately it’s about what is right for it and how you can align your strengths with that and grow within that … That could be a whole post unto itself though.

Sighs.

I had another migraine yesterday.  That’s one a week for … I’ve lost count.  Upside, it was a Saturday, so I didn’t have to call into work.  Downside, it was another Saturday.  

What I experience when I get a migraine is all over the map …  Intensity, duration … Identifying triggers is somewhat tricky.  I will eventually get my head wrapped around it and manage this new cycle.  Preferably sooner than later.  Yesterday’s migraine was intense, so painful and complete with vomiting.  Yay!

Stretching this morning, after being in bed for that long, not a lot of fun.  Necessary.  We just went through the routine a little slower, a little more gingerly.  

“... progress doesn’t happen without struggle … “

It’s not that I’m looking to or for struggle … I assure you - I am not.  I genuinely prefer easy, instant … When things are hard, or things hurt, I want to stop - to quit.  This time I can’t, I won’t.  The stakes feel too high. So I create a narrative to keep me moving.  That my body is healing, I’m letting go, I’m strong, healthy, mobile … Anything and everything I need to hear to push through - the hard - the hurt.  

“I didn’t come this far to only come this far.”

The day after a migraine isn’t the day to push.  I still listen to my body.  Gentle movement is still movement.  Fresh air is always welcome.  Some light housekeeping.  Lots of water.  Basically a low key kind of day. 

Which after 36 hours in bed seems completely mental, but the day after a migraine, it’s really not.  

I’ve been thinking of getting back to the gym, not because I can’t workout outside, I’d rather be outside.  But the sauna is at the gym and I think that might help.  I can do heat at home, it’s just not the same.  So, sauna it is.  Obviously not today, today I need to rehydrate.  

Growth is a tricky thing … it comes at a price, hopefully one you forget when you’ve achieved what you’re after, but it requires you to admit you don’t know, you don’t have all the answers, you feel weak, it requires patience, effort and consistency - depending on what you’re trying to achieve - it’s believing you can, even when the evidence is telling you you can’t.  Trusting it will get easier, because you’re getting better at whatever it is you’re working on, working toward. 

I do want this … I will keep putting in the work - making the effort.  This matters, because I matter. 

So - I will push through the hard … navigate the struggle … find my way to progress.