The Haircut

Have you ever had the overwhelming urge to blow up multiple areas of your life?  Which includes cutting off all your hair - obviously!  Yes?  I see you - I feel that.

I had a hair appointment this morning - thankfully I have one of those relationships with my hair dresser where I can tell her what is going through my brain and what I'm thinking of having her do to my hair as a result and she can candidly tell me I’ve gone mad.  She can also objectively tell me which pictures match my hair texture, thickness etc. which also tells me which styles are achievable versus which just fall flat.  

Always good to dodge a bullet.

Not that I’m opposed to radical changes with my hair … sometimes they are exactly what you need - sometimes. 

I’ve made those changes before - cut off all my hair, although I’ve never really done anything radical with colour.

I was in the head space this morning that I would have considered bangs - BANGS! I have a rule about bangs - no, never.  My hair isn’t thick enough, they never look as good as they do immediately after they have been cut and the growing out period is wildly painful.  Sighs.  Sooooo annoying. So, I have a rule … No bangs.  Period.  

It’s also helpful that my hairdresser understands how much time and energy and product I’m willing to put into my hair and my hair routines, understands my hair and is willing to work with me on styles that make sense for both my hair type and lifestyle.  

The benefits of open, honest communication.  

What is it about a haircut that makes you feel different?  Re-imagined?  

Maybe it’s the visual that you’ve made changes, are on a new path, are evolving … It’s the tangible, immediate change - the one you can see, touch … The change you verbalized. 

Sometimes a dramatic haircut is the action that you need, the catalyst, the push.  Hair is a funny thing.  For some, there is an emotional connection - it’s a part of their identity … making dramatic changes feels like a gamble … it changes how you feel, how you move, how you present who you are to the world.  I get it.  I have moments where I can’t bring myself to change my hair - it becomes a security blanket … I need it.  In other moments I want dramatic change … sometimes I find a middle ground - sometimes!  

Today was a middle ground type of day … Add long layers and cut about half of what I originally wanted.  There was still a lot of hair that got cut … but my hair needed it.  For me - after a serious cut, the trick is styling … I autopilot the blowdry and curls or how to pull it back … After cutting serious length, I have to think about what I’m doing so it makes sense for the length I have.  I’m going to be travelling for work in a few days - so I won’t be bringing all my styling tools - just some and adjusting to a new haircut, while travelling and dealing with different water types, a hotel blow dryer - my hair reacts in crazy ways … so much fun!  It’s tricky when I know what I’m doing with my hair … a potential disaster when I don’t.  I can not be unique in this … like, at all … you get it right?  The reality is - or least my reality is - if you’re going to make a dramatic cut or hairstyle change … You have to be all in … Yes, it grows back … but it takes time and patience, so … You have to be all in.  

Sometimes I think all big changes should be as easy as changing your hair … where, once you start - you aren’t turning back, you can’t turn back, you’re all in, period.  Maybe all changes are, if we get out of our head and out of our own way.  

Maybe. 

The thing about a haircut you regret … you’re stuck with it temporarily - ultimately you know, you can go back … not today, or tomorrow, but you can go back.  Other changes feel more permanent, which makes them scarier somehow.  At the end of the day - maybe that’s the point.  Sometimes we will make the wrong choice - we will get the haircut we regret.  Sometimes we need too - so we learn what does and doesn’t work for us … like bangs.  Sometimes those lessons are painful - SO painful - and they feel like the end of the world.  Maybe they are.  Most likely - they suck, we move on and if we’re lucky, rarely think of them.  We learn the thing we needed to learn - hopefully - so we don’t rinse and repeat (pun intended).  

I haven’t ruled out the cut - the shorter version.  The idea is new to my brain and I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for … the vision isn’t fully formed.  My hairdresser was right.  Cutting my hair to cut my hair when I couldn’t verbalize what I wanted was likely not going to end up with me getting something I could live with, I could love.  The vision is coming together …

It’s part of my becoming who I want to become, seeing what she looks like, how she moves, how she presents herself to the world … it’s evolving as I go … it’s slower than I would like.  Foundational stuff usually is … until it isn’t.  It is coming.  One fuzzy vision, one conversation, one messy action at a time.